Where You Lead

what a summer!

2009-07-28T06:57:00.000-07:00

God is preparing me for right now. I am in training for the present. If I live in the thinking that one day I will reach a point of completion of training then I will be falsely disappointed. Right here and right now is what God has been “preparing” me for my whole life. It is through the now that I get to the later, which never seems like it was later when it happens…. later does not exist, now does and the now tells me to pay attention. Now I should use what I have learned in school, in relationships, in experiences. This summer I have struggled with knowing what my purpose is supposed to be. I didn’t seem to have any defined role, except “learner”. I learned about God, family, missionaries, many different counseling issues, and myself. It seems kind of like a selfish general summer to take time to learn and grow personally. There have been many different parts of me I wanted to work on as well as peek inside the window of counseling. Both of those goals have been accomplished.

My favorite part of working with CMF was being part of the family. CMF is very family-oriented. The office is like a family, there are lots of families that serve as missionaries, and it was truly a blessing to be a part of it all if only for a summer. Through research and meeting people, I really began to understand that being a missionary affects the whole family and everyone involved. The furlough retreat was a blast and I loved getting to know more people and getting to take care of missionaries. Shepherd was a big learning experience. I was all over the place and never knew what I would be doing that day. I often didn’t know why I was there or how I could be useful. But the counselor there spent a lot of time with me just talking about life and counseling with me. I got to sit in on a few counseling assessments, where I really got to see what counseling is like. I also had a lot of fun sitting in on the Spanish Bible study during June. I will also continually lift up the kids I got to spend time with on the east side, they are truly beautiful and needing of every bit of God’s love…

So even when I don’t know what today will accomplish, I know that God’s purpose is much better than anything I could get for myself. He has been incredibly faithful and I am so blessed to have such a growing summer. I have really appreciated all the support from friends and family this summer! Thank you for taking the time to read ☺

Here's the furlough retreat picture!

unselfish wisdom

2009-07-21T09:56:00.001-07:00

It's not my time, it's His.

Lately I've been thinking about how much I've sat through this summer that didn't apply to me :)

Right from the start there was an orientation for the interns leaving the country, during June I went to a Hispanic women's support group in Spanish that I didn't understand, July brought the furlough retreat with lots of sessions on missions experience and one on marriage enrichment, this week I met with an adult missionary kid, and next week brings debrief with all the interns once again... what can I gain from all of this? Thinking through all these events, what impacts me the most are the people I met and knowledge I gained. It didn't have to specifically apply to my life for me to learn from it. I think this all connects to counseling. I loved meeting interns about to embark on an international adventure. The hispanic women I met are some of the most expressive, emotional, caring people I have met. They were beautiful women inside and out! I learned so much from the marriage seminar because a week before I met someone who was broken from several marriages in her life. The adult MK I met was transparent and authentic in speaking from her story, and that I will carry with me for a long time. And next week I am so excited to see the interns again and hear of all God is doing all over the world and how He used them this summer....

I have gained an invaluable amount of information from the counselors I've been working with. I have learned that counseling is sacred ground and you truly enter into someone else's life. From what I can tell, it is a very unselfish, giving place to be a counselor. So even when I encounter many different experiences that are not applicable to my story I can see how God is teaching me unselfishness in growing wisdom.

Proverbs 4

Wisdom Is Supreme

Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction;
pay attention and gain understanding.

I give you sound learning,
so do not forsake my teaching.

When I was a boy in my father's house,
still tender, and an only child of my mother,

he taught me and said,
"Lay hold of my words with all your heart;
keep my commands and you will live.

Get wisdom, get understanding;
do not forget my words or swerve from them.

Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;
love her, and she will watch over you.

Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom.
Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

Esteem her, and she will exalt you;
embrace her, and she will honor you.

She will set a garland of grace on your head
and present you with a crown of splendor."

*may we never let an experience go by without learning from it, no matter how small and no matter how insignificant. may we lift up our eyes to the Creator and giver of all wisdom and understanding.

He hears me when I call

2009-07-14T07:30:00.000-07:00

I have a Maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in his hands

I have a Father
He calls me His own
He'll never leave me
No matter where I go

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And He hears me when I call
-Tommy Walker

Yesterday the kids at Shepherd sang this song...it meant so much to see all their little faces singing these words. I love that they have these words and reminders that they have a Father that hears them when they call. I don't know the impact the song will have on them, but I do know the impact their Father can have in their life.

God, your children are hungry for love
the love only you can fill.
this world has starved them from any solace and provision you have promised.
God, surround these kids with Your great big arms
that can heal the harm done by sin.
God, whisper the confidence and hope in these ears
that have only known yells and screams out of fear and anger.
God, heal the severing and old wounds
done yesterday and today that hold your children back
from knowing the future that is already theirs.
Abba Father- Your love is enough.

"You hear, o LORD, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry, defending the fatherless and the oppressed, in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more." ps. 10:17-18

commitment

2009-07-11T11:23:00.000-07:00

This past week was the furlough retreat in Indy and I had the chance to hang out with several missionaries. I had some good conversations and learned a lot!

"Put God first, Rebekah- no matter what you do in life, put God first. Blessings to you." I'm awful at goodbye's. I wanted to ask, how? How do I do that? When the whole world says I should put myself first, how do I put God first? I am completely humbled by missionaries. Just thinking about how sacrificial, isolated, disordered, and emotional a life it is to be a missionary makes me respect them all the more. I enjoyed the furlough retreat this week and seeing a group of missionaries together and on a break. If there is one thing I learned from them this week it is commitment. When everything is changing in life- put God first. Commit yourself to God and He will provide. Provide relationships, funds, rest, and ministry. Life seems to have nothing to do with details, yet our God see's every single one. He knows how important it is to see how faithful He is in surprising us with provision in the little things- why am I surprised? Because it is only when I give up on myself that I let God provide. The thing about missionaries is they seem to have it all figured out. It is such a hard way to live. Yet it is the only way some find peace. It is most certainly not everyone's call to leave the country... and for those who do it is no more special a call...but no matter the calling in life, no matter what you do- "put God first."

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
hebrews 12

Divine whisper

2009-06-30T09:32:00.000-07:00

So far this summer has been about learning to relax and go with the flow.

I would typically say I'm good at this, but not being on a team of people has been a new challenge for me! It took a few weeks to get adjusted and relax about not knowing a lot of people, not knowing my roles at work, and not knowing what God's purpose is for this summer. Because I am learning about and taking all the assessments that CMF gives their missionaries I am learning a lot about myself and the way God has made me. It has put me in a place of realizing what I need to personally work on as well as accept for who I am.

I love working at both places because they are so different and the counselors at each place are so different. I'm getting a few angles of counseling. CMF is a lot more in the office, reading, research, and meetings. Shepherd is mostly out of the office, observation, errands, and people. There is so much I don't know about counseling and Member Care! I'm excited to ask questions and learn about what I've contemplated for a long time. The challenges have been figuring out how my inexperienced self can help out. Not being on a team has taught me the need to speak up. The counselor at CMF gave me many books to read, but one of them is "The Assertive Woman"... I think he knows what I need to work on :)

Thy mercy my God is the theme of my song,
The joy of my heart, and the boast of my tongue.
Thy free grace alone, from the first to the last,
Hath won my affection and bound my soul fast.

Without Thy sweet mercy, I could not live here.
Sin would reduce me to utter despair,
But through Thy free goodness, my spirit's revived
And He that first made me still keeps me alive.

Thy mercy is more than a match for my heart,
Which wonders to feel its own hardness depart.
Dissolved by Thy goodness, I fall to the ground
And weep for the praise of the mercy I've found.

(Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah)
Hallelujah
(Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah)

Great Father of mercies, Thy goodness I own
In the covenant love of Thy crucified Son.
All praise to the Spirit, Whose whisper divine
Seals mercy and pardon and righteousness mine.
All praise to the Spirit, Whose whisper divine
Seals mercy and pardon and righteousness mine.

-Caedmon's Call

Throughout this internship one prayer has been that God would whisper His confidence in my ears. I truly believe He has been for so much longer than I have been praying...may we constantly be reminded of His divine whisper which seals mercy, pardon, and righteousness for each of us.

unwavering faith

2009-06-17T12:26:00.000-07:00

today i've been thinking/reading on surrender and what that looks like for someone who relies on their feelings too much...the book i'm reading at the office has been really good and i'm learning a lot from it. i am also, however, having trouble focusing. i have had a cup of coffee and a soda, whoops :)

here's a quote from "The Christian's Secret to a Happy Life":
“If you begin to question your surrender, or God’s acceptance of it, then your wavering faith will produce a wavering experience, and He cannot work in you to do His will. But while you trust, He works; and the result of His working always is to change you into the image of Christ, from glory to glory, by His mighty Spirit.”

This was so good for me to read because it helped me see that surrender is my part of the deal. How I surrender and the nature of my surrender depends upon the work that God is able to do in my life.

i will leave you with a "Franciscan benediction":

May God bless you with discomfort
at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships
so that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger
at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,
so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears
to shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war,
so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness
to believe that you can make a difference in the world,
so that you can do what others claim cannot be done
to bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.
amen.

i've been stewing around with this and i really believe it has had an affect on me. more and more does injustice and sin affect me to the point of anger and tears...i have to keep experiencing what truly happens in this world to get a glimpse of the sight God has of His children that are suffering that i might act with the foolishness that i can do something.

thinking about counseling makes me think about the difference one can actually make in someone's life. the power to change. it has to rely on the unwavering faithfulness of God that He might do the changing or i am but setting myself up for loss in this world of sin. i pray that with my naivete of faith i might believe that God can do anything.

please pray for the kids at Shepherd community center
pray that they may know peace and provision from their Heavenly Father
pray that they would seek to give their lives to Him
and that they would be blessed enough to bless others in the same way you and i have.

each new day again i choose

2009-06-14T15:21:00.000-07:00

I am about 2 or 3 weeks in and I'm definitely still figuring out what I'm supposed to be doing and where I'm supposed to be.

The biggest thing I am learning is to take each day as its own. I really never know what the day will hold- especially at the community center :) And I'm beginning to appreciate it. I have done a lot of reading, driving, and learning how much I don't know! My favorite part has been meeting random people and learning just how amazing God is at orchestrating the right people together. The spanish support group went well despite low numbers and God certainly made His presence known. I am excited to get to know these women! Both times I have gone through some of the psychological testing CMF uses I have learned something about myself and begun to appreciate the way God has designed me to be. This also led me to surrender to God's work in me- and not to live striving towards who I wish I could be. As each day is different and every path leading somewhere new I am reminded of the constant faithfullness of my God.

Thanks for taking time to see what's going on with an intern in Indy this summer :)

Well, folks- I'm in Indianapolis!

2009-06-06T10:18:00.000-07:00

Hello!
My summer internship in Indianapolis is underway and everything's going great! I'm excited to be working with Christian Missionary Fellowship (CMF) and Shepherd Community Center this summer. Both places I am working with their counselor's and getting to know the work they do. It has been really interesting so far!

CMF is a missions organization that is based in Indy and they have approximately 170 missionaries around the world. The office is full of awesome people working to help keep everything running and get others excited about missions!

This summer for CMF I will be helping with their missionary furlough retreat planned in July, researching information on missionary kids who are moving back to the US for college, researching information for parent's of missionaries, getting to know the member care part of CMF, and going over the psychological testing they do with the missionaries. This week I went over the Myers-Briggs and it was really interesting! I took it and we went over it together and he pointed out what this tests and how it works well with teams.

Shepherd is located on the east side of Indy and has many different aspects that are helping reduce the poverty in the area. Their approach is "holistic" in that they address every aspect of people's lives and needs. It is really a cool place! I will be working with their counselor there as well as spending the afternoons helping with their summer camp program. Thursday mornings I'll be attending a women's support group...in spanish! I'm really excited to get this opportunity!

All in all I'm still adjusting to getting around the city, meeting people, and finding my niche :)

Thanks for reading and God bless!

hello again!

2009-03-17T14:53:00.000-07:00

I decided to continue this blog to talk about my week of evangelism trip with LCC to England! No use in completely neglecting a blog :)

What do you believe about God? What does the Bible mean to you? What is heaven like? Am I going to hell? What do you think about abortion? Gay marriage? Euthanasia? Suicide? Divorce? War? Marriage? In vitro? If there's a God why is there suffering in the world? What are the Christian holidays? Do you own a gun? Have you ever seen a celebrity? Can you do an English accent? Do you live by the beach? What is church like? What does the building look like? Do you believe in Creation? You really believe God is everywhere? Where is Illinois? Is God male or female? Who is Moses? How have you experienced God in your life?

Feeling a little overwhelmed? I definitely was! These are just some of the many topics we all talked about with students at West Bridgeford School in Nottingham, England. Between the team of 19 people from LCC we talked to around 1000 students from 11-18 years old. Most did not believe in God, had either never been to church or only been a few times. There were atheists, agnostics, Muslims, sikhists, and Christians. We would sit in their religious education classes with small groups of students for 45 minute class periods giving them whatever knowledge we could about what it means to be a Christian and answering whatever questions they threw at us! It was overwhelming, fun, challenging, interesting, and definitely an experience I won't forget.

It was so interesting seeing these young kids wrestling with what many American adults deal with. Having the students learn about religions in school seemed really good and at the same time everything they wanted to know was knowledge and fact based. The most important aspect we tried to emphasize was a personal relationship and personal experiences. I truly believe God answered many of the questions they had for me. It was such a great opportunity to vocally figure out and communicate what I believe. At the same time we were not there to convert them, so sometimes it was a struggle to get them to care or listen. I definitely have renewed prayers for Europe and the youth.

The missionaries there were doing some pretty amazing work and really responding to what the community's needs are for the youth. They have an after school club as well as an evening youth club for students to just come and have somewhere to hang out with people to talk to. Thursday night we helped out at the Trentside youth club and it was a lot of fun to just hang out with the kids outside of school. We also attended a young adult church service on Sunday night called "Something else" that had a lot of university students. It was amazing to worship with fellow students and we sang songs all of us were familiar with.

During the week I read through Mark and it was just the book I needed to read. Reading about Jesus' ministry really showed me how amazing He is and the hope we have in Him alone. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. He defeated death! Most of all, I really believe in God more. I got a dose of reality on what faith means and how big the God I serve is. I saw many prayers answered and my prayers now are that the seeds sown will be nurtured and harvested in the future. May God be as real to each of those kids as the answers He gave us each of us for them.

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best thought by day or by night
Waking or sleeping Thy presence my light
Be thou my wisdom and Thou my true word
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord
Thou my great Father, I , Thy true son
Thou in me dwelling and I with Thee one
Riches I heed not nor man's empty praise
Thou mine inheritance now and always
Thou and thou only first in my heart

High King of heaven my treasure Thou are
High King of heaven my victory won
May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heaven's Sun
Heart of my own heart whatever befall
Still be my vision O Ruler of all

Baptisms!

2008-09-26T07:37:00.000-07:00

I just have to share this!! God is so good. This is a video of the baptisms at Forefront this fall. I left before they had this day at Brighten beach. Two of the girls who got baptized were in my small group, it's exciting to see the steps they have taken in their lives and to have been blessed to know everyone out there. I hope you enjoy the video-

Baptisms at Brighten Beach

tension

2008-09-03T16:05:00.000-07:00

"i miss the city in the same way the city misses me. there's a give and take to the relationship, an understanding if you will. i buy a metro card and it gives me a ride. i walk through the park and it gives me a path. it may seem like the city giving back, but i sense the tension. there are so many people taking from the city. it's being stretched, pulled, and tugged from every end. they want a show, a ticket, a ride, an experience. they want to make it. make it doing what they love living with more than they need. excess. i see a city of excess. they can demand more because they haven't been disappointed yet. the city keeps giving and giving, not paying attention. nyc, it doesn't matter that you have more money than you could ever use, it will catch up to you. money doesn't satisfy. cash can't solve big problems, for long. your people know so much to seem so weak. there is a God so much stronger. He can save you. nyc, this is how you can truly make a difference. with so much influence, you can change the world,
for the better. "
-an excerpt from one of my journals a week or so after I left.

The city seems so far away right now! I do miss it. It's interesting how much perspective can come with time! God continually shines through in faithfulness, Lincoln's no nyc, but it's not so bad.

pictures!

2008-08-09T22:19:00.000-07:00

this is my apartment in Astoria:
this is the subway stop we got onto to go to Manhattan (30 ave):

this is the church office in Manhattan:

here are some of the granola bars we passed out for Love nyc Day:

this is the subway stop we used right by the church office:

thousands of granola bars!!

this is inside the Blender Theater where Forefront meets on Sunday mornings:

the Blender Theater on 23rd:

home!

2008-08-05T08:34:00.000-07:00

i have to say it is so good to be home! being away from home always makes me appreciate where i come from and the amazing people that are here. thank you so much for all your prayers and support this summer- seriously they were much appreciated! in the next few weeks i'll post some pictures now that i have them on my computer, and i'm sure you'll see a post or two from me in the future...

the end.

2008-08-03T12:36:00.000-07:00

Love nyc day went great! We ended up having around 90 volunteers on 24 different corners in Manhattan passing out around 60,000 items (water,gum, granola bars). For the most part everything went smoothly and as far as I know people had fun. I was in the office directing phone calls and trying to make sure everything got where is was supposed to go. There are lots of stories of people getting to talk to people and even a lot of the church members running into these volunteers.

Our team was so great and they are actually hanging out the next few days to sight-see. I was really impressed with them- awesome kids! Aaaaand, they did change some lives this week for sure. You'll have to ask me about the stories. This morning was our last sunday at Forefront as Interns! It was bittersweet to say good-bye to people. Seems I did the same not too long ago... saying good-bye to people is such an odd thing. The last song we sang was great and I have to say I loved my time with Forefront church. The people are amazing and it was exciting to be a part of.

You're closer than our troubles

more present than any danger

more grand than gold and silver

You are God, You are God

You're the joy of man's desire

You are Father, satisfier

we are stunned with wide-eyed wonder

You are God, You are God

You fill our hearts with love and faith

You fight for us, You make us brave

You are God, You are God

You walk with us, You lead us on

Faith, hope, & love wakes up with the dawn

You are God, You are God

-Charlie Hall

last team...

2008-07-31T08:41:00.000-07:00

This week we have our last team here and they're from Branson, MO. They are a great team and it's always encouraging to be able to show people around the city! Only the leader has been here before, so it's exciting to open their eyes a bit. They are such a great team too. Their heart's are big and they are starting to see how big the need is. When we asked them yesterday about something they want to see in the city more than half said they wanted to see a life changed. What a big request, but what a big God we serve- anythings possible! Today we sent them out to pass things out on the street and they came back excited and with wider eyes than when they left. It is then you realize how much New Yorkers need a smile and little encouragement in their day. It is then you realize they need the hope that you carry. A few minutes ago we found out that someone had already e-mailed the church thanking them for the crackers we handed out this morning! This is exactly what we were trying to accomplish. Giving people a chance at community and a God that truly loves them. I love having teams here because it is empowering to show others the need and I learn so much from them. This team's hearts are big and willingness even bigger. Please pray for their persistence and energy this week as we'll be doing a lot! And pray that they might see a life changed, not for their own benefit but for God's glory.

This Saturday is our last event- Love NYC Day! We've been working on it most of the summer and it's getting down to crunch time. Pray that everything will go smoothly and we will reach out to the city!

7 days.

2008-07-28T07:49:00.000-07:00

Well, after 9 hours in the Cincinnati airport, I'm back in the city and it feels good. I think what I like about coming and going is another chance at the city. I'm ready to be home for a while before school, but at the same time I really love it here! Getting in a cab and getting back to my apartment felt right and the subway ride to the office this morning seemed like the way it should be. Alas, the city of Lincoln is looming over my head... but for now, my last week in NYC, I'll enjoy it and try to get some sleep as well :) I'll leave you with some thoughts I wrote down in the airport yesterday...

"i came a tourist. i spent time as a tourist. times square was bright, the subways busy. i ate the food, i spent the money. you may think i leave a tourist, but i assure you i'm not. i leave with a cause. a cause for the people, the faces, the stories. the faces of weariness, the faces of determination cannot be erased from my memory. the voices that cried out for change and the voices that rose on their own behalf. if only they knew the hope they could have. the life they could have with a greater purpose and endless eternity. so i leave with a people on my heart and city in my mind. in hopes of change and perhaps greater riches invested in a God of hope rather than a god of money."

peace within

2008-07-22T20:49:00.000-07:00

heal me, hands of Jesus, and search out all my pain;

restore my hope, remove my fear and bring me peace again.

cleanse me, blood of Jesus, take bitterness away;

let me forgive as one forgiven and bring me peace today.

know me, mind of Jesus, and show me all my sin;

dispel the memories of guilt, and bring me peace within.

fill me, joy of Jesus; anxiety shall cease and heaven's serenity be mine,

for Jesus brings me peace!

-Michael Perry

Today we finished up with a group and we were spending time on a prayer walk at Trinity Church by Wall Street when I opened up the hymn book to this hymn. The words were just what I needed to read and hear right then, I hope you enjoy them as well. Lately there's been a lot on my mind, and knowing the peace of Jesus is what I'm working on. God is so faithful and I'm continually humbled by His patience and love.

peace and blessings my friends.

c-razy.

2008-07-20T20:08:00.000-07:00

east village pics:

what a crazy week/ weekend!! This past week I stayed in the east village with a different girl that goes to Forefront and it has been so different to be staying in Manhattan. I loved that my commute wasn't 45 min, but I also felt like I didn't get away from the craziness of Manhattan much at all. This week the tiredness of this summer kind of hit me. Having a taste of home last week made me tired of commuting and I just wanted to get in a car! The city is starting to seem the norm for me and the newness has worn off a bit. I think it's good for me. I finally realized once I got past the site-seeing stuff of the city that you have to rely on the people to love the city. Having seen the major sites in nyc I finally feel like I need the people around me and I sympathize with the people around me. We all need each other, as cheeze as that sounds. I don't care as much about checking off a list of sites to see, but making an effort to see the people around me. It takes an unnatural ammount of effort for me to stop and pay attention amidst the business. Some of the faces and stories will always be with me. I love this city. I love that there are an endless amount of new places to eat, see, and ... smell. ha. Now I finally feel like I can just soak it in and not furiously feel like I have to see it all. I can't believe I'm only here two more weeks! The time has flown by!
This week we have two teams here, I'm going to Chicago for my brother's wedding, and next week we have two teams and Love NYC Day! It will be a whirlwind few weeks. I don't have a clue if nyc is in my future, but I sure hope so in some capacity ... it is a great city and even better people. Forefront is a great church doing a great job of reaching out to the people of Manhattan.

Thanks again for all the support and prayers that have gone a long way!

small church, big city

2008-07-15T12:40:00.000-07:00

Today we had a staff meeting and it really got me thinking. Thinking about the differences in church size and location. Helping out at a new church plant in a big city is really different for me. I'm used to a big church with a big city, and a small church going with a small city. In my eyes 200 people is a small church, and 8 million would constitute a big city :) I think that makes for a very real way to be a dynamic church, if you are mindful of it. It is easier to make changes to anything with less numbers. It may seem harder to make a bigger difference in a huge city, but I don't think so. I can see a smaller church being able to reach the immediate boundaries of their neighborhood easier. They can relate better because they are a part of it, as well as respond to the great need that's there. It's just so fascinating to me! We were talking about how since Forefront doesn't have a building of its own, per-say, it could be easier to not see the church as a building, but the people. Forefront meets in a concert venue theater used during the week. We just rent it on Sunday's and luckily they are able to store stuff during the week in closets. It's interesting to see how much a place can set the mood or tone. And being in a space that's not owned by us maybe shows people how a church is the people and not the building. We were left with the challenge to strive towards effectiveness and not just excellence.

prayer requests:

- that Forefront would continue to be a dynamic change and counter-cultural place for people in the city.

- that Forefront would strive to be effective in reaching people and not just putting on a good service.

displaced

2008-07-14T13:32:00.000-07:00

Ohhh traveling. It was great to go home this past weekend for my sister's wedding! It was a great wedding and lots of fun to see people. It was also very interesting to jump into the midwest for a weekend... made me think of how different the two are from each other. On one hand I went back to the familiar so it felt like I'd never left, and on the other hand I was leaving a city that is so different from anywhere else I'd been and living here for a few weeks. I guess my thoughts are scattered, but all in all it was interesting to experience and I'll be in the Chicago area in two weeks. I don't know if it's odd that I like to travel this much...

One thought going off of my last post on the concentration of amazing people. It just makes me ponder heaven. Think of the church all in one place. Sharing mutual stories of their lives dedicated to their King and not themselves. I see a people weary of traveling and longings fulfilled as they are at the destination. May we be able to share stories with perspective in a way that makes us realize how much we need each other and Who we're living for. I don't know if we'll travel to heaven or just arrive there, but how exciting to share it with people that have gone down some of the same paths. Instead of a city full of wealth and people pursuing their own dreams we will live in a city with people that have been poor, helpless, and completely giving of their lives for His cause.

I can't believe that I've only got about 3 weeks left here! I only feel like I'm beginning to get to know the city and the people. I know how to figure out my way around, but it seems like I've just gotten past the surface. I don't know what locations are in my future, but if they turn out to be as amazing as the first few God chose... I'm in.

i'm not cool enough for new york city.

2008-07-05T07:53:00.000-07:00

The more I get to know the city the more I feel like an observer taking more and more in about the people and culture. I find myself watching people and taking in what seems to be important to them. New york city is cool. The people are cool, the places are cool, and everyone knows it, they know they have the world at their fingertips. Something everyone doesn't know about nyc is how amazing the people are. They are hard-working, top of their game, caring people. There's this stigma of being a very harsh and hard when in actuality new yorkers are very willing and helpful. The only group of people I would say is hard and harsh are the MTA workers... but i'm sure they have their reasons. But as soon as someone asks anyone a question on how to get somewhere or a local question usually there's two or three people around that stop and want to help. Because that is the nature of the city. The majority isn't from here, everyone knows what it's like to have no idea how to get somewhere. Everyone knows it can be a hard place to be at times. While people do fight over dumb things, there are also the people that will go out of their way to help someone.

Another thing I've learned from the people is their drive, and that can be good and bad. You have to be a fighter to make it here. Paying rent, eating, and doing what you love most takes an incredible amount of effort here. Everyone comes to the city to get something from it. Whether it be fame, fortune, or just an experience. It's interesting to see how that affects the culture. I think that's what causes the extreme lonliness in the city. People are working so hard to make it for themselves that they hardly stop to look and get to know the faces around them. I won't generalize and say this is all true for all people, but just thoughts... I will say that the more I hang out with people here the more I see just how amazing they are. I seriously don't feel cool enough as a mid-western girl to measure up! But if there's any hope it's by the grace of God that I get to hang out with such gifted passionate people. My request of prayers for the people is a response to community and acceptance in a way that can unite and use all these extraordinary people for God's glory and purpose... it's okay to pray big prayers.

- all this stemmed from location scouting in the upper west side for Forefront's new location. we were to talk to people about the neighborhood and church. needless to say, i have stories.

my sandal is in the Atlantic (still)

2008-06-28T13:34:00.000-07:00

So it has been a crazy unexpected week! We headed out to Bay Ridge (Brooklyn) each day and art camp didn't work out! Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday it rained us out of the parks. This was actually the schools last week of classes, so by Thursday there weren't any kids in the parks during the day. It just didn't work out for us. As we were told, lots of things in ministry in the city just don't work out. It was still good to hang out with Josh from Crossroads CC and hang out in a different part of town.

These past few weeks/days have been crazy and I love NYC a little more each day. We are just new friends getting to know each other.

Experiences to note:

- free Yankee's game in the old stadium: Someone called the church office with extra tickets and they let the interns go! It wasn't a very eventful game, but we had great shady seats.

- Eating at Max Brenner's: A chocolate place that is awesome! A little expensive as you pay for the atmosphere (like every other place here), but everything they served looked cool. I had a mocha and banana bread.

- Metropolitan Opera Concert in Prospect Park: We were expecting the Philharmonic but found out that is was the opera. There were tons of people there and we ended up walking through the park with distant music, it was fun!

- Eating at S'mac: An all mac 'n cheese place that's lots of fun and has a great atmosphere in the east village.

- Movie at Bryant Park: Forefront organized people to all head out and watch the Bride of Frankenstein in Bryant park for free one night!

- Brooklyn Promenade: One night this week after "helping" in Bay Ridge I headed over to the Promenade for a little quiet/contemplation time and was not let down! I ended up walking the Promenade, sitting and watching the sunset over the skyline, and getting some great pictures in.

- Meeting Mia Fieldes from Hillsong: So our Creative Arts guy at Forefront, John Black met with Mia Fieldes from Hillsong this Friday for lunch! She came in to the office and hung out for a while. She's from Australia and has been writing with Hillsong for the last few years. She's written or co-written Oh Rejoice, Mighty to Save, and Savior King.

- Coney Island: So the other night the interns and I randomly decided to go to Coney Island! It was a beautiful night walking along the beach and pier and just getting away from the hustle of the city. Well, as I'm taking pictures on the pier one of my sandal's fall off in the water. Yep. We see it float under the pier to the other side and I asked some fishermen to catch it. They blankly looked at me then laughed, awesome. So I ran over to the side of the beach and watched it float over towards some rocks. The other intern Matt got up on the rocks and the sandal got about 5 ft. away before the tide started moving it the other way! We thought it'd wash up in a while but it was getting late so I deserted my poor teva sandel. It's funny to think about what goes through your mind in times like that.... Oh, and I found a pair of sandal's on the beach to wear home! They were too big, but man that was exciting. God always provides... seems I always learn that as things fail but God pulls through.

- Coldplay at the Today Show: Yesterday we (other interns and I) got up at 3:30 am and headed over to Rockefeller to see Coldplay! There was already a line and we got in to the place around 5 or 6am. By 7am we were jam packed in there and we ended up right behind the drummer. I wouldn't say it was a genuine concert since it was for TV, but we were very close to them! AND Al Roker came over and asked us how we liked Coldplay during the weather break! It was a crazy long day.

- Eating at El Grill in Astoria: We ate at this place that's right off of our subway stop that's an outdoor mexican place that we walk by every time to and from the subway. I was looking up places to eat in Astoria and this came up! Turns out they have an eating area in the back, oh and they only speak spanish, seriously. It really made me feel like I was in Mexico as well as feel like a stupid American, which are two great things. As you can guess the food was very authentic and the waitress was equally scared to speak english as we were spanish. I hope to go back a little more polished on my spanish...

As you can see much of my experiences have food included, haha. NYC is great for that for sure! Everyday is an adventure and has a little different spice of its own. There are times I wish I could have a few familiar faces to share it with, but God is teaching me a lot. He really knows each person's name and deeply cares for all of us. He knows and is with the lonely people, the lost people, the hungry people, the rich people, the searching people. I must depend on Him alone and not the things and people built up around me. I need Him. He can actually use little me...

Also, I wanted to link a few different Forefront links. They have a Flickr page, as well as a podcast (search Forefront NYC in itunes) if you want to hear a message or two from Sunday mornings. Thanks for reading, thinking, encouraging, and praying!

Storefront

2008-06-20T14:04:00.001-07:00

I just want to say that I love it here so much, and I am really enjoying the internship. Honestly. The church had a lot of missions teams cancel, but that actually makes doing different things more possible. Today Camille, Matt, and I went to Brooklyn (Bay Ridge, a two hour commute from Queens:) to talk with Crossroad Christian Church's Storefront about putting on an art camp next week. We are pretty much doing all of it. I am so excited! We got free range to come up with ideas and do whatever we come up with. Crossroads Storefront is just an artist's space for the artist's in the community to come together for "humanity". There are adult art, dance, and music classes/sessions/clinics that all happen here. It is simply bringing together artists. I am so excited to help out this next week! We have no idea how many kids will show up, but for two hours a day in the afternoon's we're heading over to a local park to make art with kids! The themes we're going with are diversity/ awareness/ compassion/ community (one a day). The neighborhood is mostly Islamic and has many other cultures within it. This is an amazing place to do ministry. Please pray that kids will show up to our art camp and people will know more about the Storefront. Pray that the interns and I will have the energy and passion to help them out.

It is going to be a long weekend! We are helping out at Father's Heart tomorrow morning, art supplies shopping in the afternoon, greeting/set-up Sunday morning, and helping with a "Kidstuf" picnic that afternoon!

Father's Heart & the first team!

2008-06-16T08:37:00.000-07:00

Believe it or not I really have a lot to say! The internet's been spotty at my apartment and it's working now! This past week we had our first team arrive in NYC. There was only three of them, a married couple and another guy. It was good to learn the ropes with a smaller team and start to learn how to lead together. When the teams are here we have them do a lot of servant evangelism in the neighborhood and prayer walks in different parts of the city. There's a prayer walk at the UN building, Wall Street, and Union Square park. We also take them on the Staten Island Ferry, go to Central Park, and out to eat at the South Street Seaport. It is four days jam packed with stuff to do!

My favorite part is when we go to Father's Heart on Saturday morning. The interns and I hadn't done it yet, so this Sat. was our first time. I had no idea what to expect! Father's Heart is a homeless shelter that serves a meal every Saturday to whoever shows up on time. This Saturday we fed 457 people! I got chills when it started because the worship band played a song and the people started pouring in for a hot meal. There was a Cantonese, Mandarin, Spanish, and English speaker all explaining why they were being served. The lead guy (pastor?) told them all they were loved and had an opportunity to change their life. They could eat as much as they wanted and were offered GED classes, places to go to stay, and many other things to help them out. I heard someone describe the day as "organized chaos" and couldn't put it better myself! Everyone's given an assignment and color coordinated apron for your station. I got clean-up duty. They filled the chairs as people left and had volunteers everywhere helping out. There were also volunteers talking and praying for people as needed. It was really an amazing opportunity to be a part of and I'm excited to help out in the future weeks to come! The church is going next week and we'll be taking the other teams too. I still have so many more stories about this, but they'll be better in person!

One other thing I wanted to say is thanks for the mail from some awesome people!! It has been a real blessing to get mail from people praying and encouraging me after some very long days. God is good. I am still thinking and praying for you all, thanks for reading sporadic thoughts of a nomadic college student :)

Prayer Requests:

- Forefront: they are planning on opening a new campus on the west side of Manhattan in 2009. pray for trust in God and provision of people wanting to help.

- pray that I might be patient and persevering on long days

- the people at Father's heart that serve and the people that eat.

- the people of NYC: their hearts and minds to be open to Christianity and a God who loves them.

tidbits from the city

2008-06-10T06:39:00.000-07:00

So I don't have a whole lot to say today but just a few things and experiences. This past week has been hectic! Last Saturday Forefront volunteered with Hearts and Hammers, a local organization. We all met up in the Bronx (which made for an interesting morning adventure at 5am) and were split into groups to help out in different locations. Most of the people that came with Forefront headed over to an elderly lady's house to fix it up. The team helped renovate her kitchen, bathroom, re-paint her stairway hall, garden, and fix her fence! Needless to say, it was a long day full of worthwhile hard work! We ended up leaving that afternoon and the interns (Matt, Camille, and I) and I went over to where Matt is staying in Brooklyn for a barbeque. There is always something going on! Camille and I ended up falling asleep on the couch that night in the living room not setting an alarm or even changing.... only by God's grace did I roll over on the couch at 6:10 am and realize we needed to leave in 15 min for set-up! Forefront meets in a theater that they rent so we have to set-up and tear-down every week. Church went really well, all except the air-conditioning stopped working :) It has been a hot week here in the city! Luckily the subway, my apartment, and the office are air-conditioned. Yesterday we started getting supplies for our first team that comes tomorrow! We also worked on the booklet for them.

Subway Experience:

- On Saturday night when Camille and I were riding back to our place there was a father and daughter that got on the subway. The little girl was around 4 or 5 I think? They sat caddy-corner to us and having a lot of fun. It was so neat to see a father take captive interest in his daughter when most days all you will see are nanny's with stroller's not paying any attention to the child. The daughter was very talkative and fun, and the father turned his face to her and brought it closer to her. She looked at him and just laughed. It's really a simple story, but it made me think about how scary that would be if it was anyone but her dad. She knew his face and found comfort in being close and known.

- May we know the face of God as He draws nearer to us and desires to protect us.

"He prays to God and finds favor with Him,

he sees God's face and shouts for joy;

he is restored by God to his righteous state."

job 33:26

Orchard Group

2008-06-04T08:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday all the interns in NYC and people with Orchard group (church planters) got together and spent the day in the city. It was neat to spend time with Brent Storms and Dave Smith. They talked about Orchard Group in the past and what they have in mind for the future. It is exciting to be a part of their church planting vision this summer! One thing that stuck out to me from when they were talking about the people of NYC is just the need in the city. Everyone comes to NYC to take something and not give. This hit home with me because we were given the task of finding a verse to go with our summer as a purpose. The verse I chose was Acts 20:35

In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: "It is more blessed to give than to receive."

So needless to say it really hit home my purpose of this summer to give back to the city and not just buy and consume this summer from the city. My hope and prayer is to find ways to give and help the weak.

All the other interns this summer go to Ozark Christian College, so I'm out on that aspect, but it's still fun hanging out with other interns at different churches. We all walked the Brooklyn Bridge again and went to the church St. John the Divine in the upper east side of Manhattan, which if I remember right is the largest cathedral in the world. It was beautiful! And I always have conflicting thoughts in huge ornate cathedrals. I just think about how differently all the money could have been spent and how much of the money can seem wasted. But one of the interns shed light on this in a new way to me. He said that it relates to the woman who anointed Jesus' feet with expensive oil.

While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of a man known as Simon the Leper, a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table. When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. "Why this waste?" they asked. "This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor." Aware of this, Jesus said to them, "Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you,but you will not always have me. When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial. I tell you the truth, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her."

matthew 26

What a slap in the face! This is what I love about Jesus, perspective. We are hungry for a glimpse of Him and some understand and some don't. It is just what I needed to know and learn at that time.

Jesus, You alone shall be my first love,

my first love.

The secret place and the highest praise shall be Yours,

shall be Yours.

To Your throne I'll bring devotion,

may it be the sweetest sound.

Lord this heart is reaching for you now

So I'll set my sights upon You,

set my life upon Your praise,

Never looking to another way.

You alone will be my passion,

Jesus, you will be my song.

You will find me longing after You.

Day and night I lift my eyes to seek You,

to seek You.

Hungry for a glimpse of You in glory,

in glory.

Servant Evangelism

2008-06-02T12:15:00.000-07:00

This Saturday we did Saturday Serve with the church and about ten of us came out to do some servant evangelism in Union Square. We passed out free coffee and granola bars with a Forefront card to around 2,500 people! This has been a great way for the church to get God's name and Forefront's location out to people. Earlier last week all of us interns went out and did it on our own for an initial experience. We'll have the teams that come in also do this in different areas. What I love from it the most is having contact with people. Riding in the subway and walking on the streets of NYC makes faces pass and walls go up. Being able to give people something to brighten their day and actually having contact has been really healthy. It is also a good way to pray for the people, both the people that receive with open hands and those who don't. There will be people that openly oppose to God and to what we're trying to do, but there are those faces and hands that gladly welcome an encouraging gift in their day. More than 75% of the first time followers of Christ and baptisms have come at Forefront because of the servant evangelism that they do.

Brothers, my heart's desire and prayer to God for the Israelites is that they may be saved. For I can testify about them that they are zealous for God, but their zeal is not based on knowledge. Since they did not know the righteousness that comes from God and sought to establish their own, they did not submit to God's righteousness. Christ is the end of the law to that there may be righteousness for everyone who believes.

Romans 10

I'm here!

2008-05-30T17:20:00.000-07:00

Finally time and a computer to blog! It'll be a little crazy finding time to blog, but I will do my best. It'll also be hard to get pictures up here.... we'll see. New updates- this summer is going to be amazing, way busy, and awesome! We are leading church teams around the city, an art camp with another church, doing servant evangelism in the area, going to Boston for a week to help Reunion CC, and helping out with the different Forefront church activities every week. Each of us interns were assigned different small groups and I'll be in the creative arts group!

Getting here went well, the cab ride was nuts. Luckily I wrote down the address so we didn't have to much miscommunication. In the ride there it all hit me at once that I didn't know anyone or how to get around! Luckily, I'm staying at a great place in Astoria. It is a two bedroom apt. and I'm sharing a room with the other girl intern. The place is really nice! It is about a 45 min. commute to the church.

My address is:

14-32 28th Ave. #1L

Astoria, NY 11102

(I love mail :)

The staff is great, I haven't gone to a church service yet but so far it reminds me a lot of a campus ministry. Forefront's office is across the street from the Flatiron building and the church meets at the Blender Theater every week, which means that there is set-up and tear-down every week! We'll have to be there at 7am every sunday. Our schedule is a little crazy and looks like every week will be a little different depending on what we need to get done.

I'm actually starting to find my way around! The other interns and I are having fun finding food, parks, and our way around the subway system. So far I've visited Times Square, Chinatown, Central Park, the Village, and the Brooklyn Bridge. Probably my favorite was walking over the Brooklyn Bridge at sunset- amazing pictures and a beautiful night! Not gonna lie, I sure was thinking about Bethany a lot! (wish I could've shared that with you) Today we had the day off and spent most of it walking through Central Park, nice day! Tonight we made dinner at our apartment as a cheaper alternative. There has been lots of eating out so far, so much great food to explore!

I will do my best to keep you updated! Much love and know that I'm thinking of you all.

Prayer Requests:

- the people of NYC and willingness to be open to God

- Forefront's witness

- endurance and strength in long days full of walking!

- finding quiet time with God and staying focused

Thank you, you are all a blessing!

7 days....

2008-05-19T08:47:00.000-07:00

So in one week I'll be in the heart of New York City! I can't believe it! I've always been excited, but now I'm getting nervous. It will be great, and it will be all new to me.

Things I'm looking forward to:
-mornings and late nights in the city
-new cultures
-diversity
-the metro
-taking pictures in the city
-going where God has lead
-being a part of a church in a big city
-living in an apartment
-no offense, but getting away from the wedding madness... :)
-rainy days in the city
-getting to the point where I know my way around the city
-having lots and lots of opportunities to meet people and really push myself out of my comfort zone

Things I'm nervous or not excited about:
-being new again for the second time in 6 months
-long long days
-not knowing my way around for the first few weeks
-having to push myself out of my comfort zone
-flying by myself to people I don't know yet
-raising enough money
-packing what I need
-not seeing lots of grass or fields for a bit
-not being able to go on long drives

As you can see, the pro's outweigh the con's and the con's aren't so scary... and it is good to know that the con's are doable.

The few things I already know:
-the church is in Manhattan and meets in a theater
-there's around 200 members
-I'll be living in Astoria (a neighborhood in Queens) with two sisters that go to Forefront and with the other girl intern
-there's two other interns and they go to Ozark CC
-there's a ten minute walk to the metro stop by my apartment
-I'll be leading mission teams around the city
-I also get the chance to help out with Forefront's Creative Arts

I will be sure to fill in the gaps as I know more!

In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone! who took on flesh
Fulness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones he came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied -
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine -
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.
-stuart townend, keith getty